The Art of Distraction (Or: So Long, Hills, It's Been Grand)

Since no "Golden Girls" DVDs came from Netflix yesterday, I decided to watch the televised debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama on ABC last night. Who would've guessed that watching this sparring match between the two candidates for the Democratic presidential nomination would effectively turn the tide for me?

I've made no secret of my indecisiveness when it comes to Clinton and Obama. Until yesterday, I equally loved and loathed both of them. Today, though, is a different story. In spite of voting for Hillary in the primary, I've now decided to pack up my things and set up camp in Obama Country.

You see, Hillary has failed me.

I looked to Mrs. Clinton as a maternal force of equal parts politics and compassion: a powerful Earth mother to mother us all. I looked to her as a strong, shining symbol of feminism and progress. I looked to her, quite simply, as the best person for the job.

But somewhere along the way (or maybe it's been there all along and I was choosing not to see it), Hillary became an expert in the art of what Dubya and his cronies are old pros at: The Art of Distraction. It's the theory that if you sling a lot of muck, and I mean a lot of it, it deflects the public from real issues and at least attempts to paint the muck-hurler in a more flattering light.

Let me give an example.

This whole Reverend Wright thing. Obama's former minister made some scandalous and -- gasp! -- un-American remarks in an old sermon. Thanks to the miracle of YouTube, excerpts from this infamous sermon spread like wildfire, and, inexplicably though inevitably, Obama himself had his own values and beliefs thrown into question as a result.

Personally, I don't care what Reverend Wright said. Whether or not I, or Obama, or Charo, agree or disagree is not relevant. The Reverend is entitled to both his opinion and his right to express it. People seem to have forgotten this last point. Obama should not be held responsible for someone else's opinion, no more than I am responsible for the opinions asserted by the minister of my church 20 years ago. Besides, one opinion felt by one person is a small brush stroke in the huge mural that makes up that one person. Obama stands beside Wright even to this day, even while disagreeing with his statements, because he realizes that. We are more than the sum of our parts.

Hillary, though, ain't havin' none of it. After Obama explained his side of things, Hills jumped right in to declare that this issue merits "further investigation". That we have a choice in our preachers, and someone who would choose to support such an "anti-American" clergyman is not only disgraceful, but a poor, poor candidate for president (even though our current president defines the word disgraceful).

The Reverend Wright issue is, to a lot of people, not an issue at all. It's a roadblock uncovered and exaggerated by those who don't want to see Mr. Obama in the White House. For the millionth time in this posting, the bottom line is this: It's ridiculous to hold one grown person accountable for another grown person's opinions.

That's when it dawned on me. Hillary is savoring a trip-up like this so she can put the full force of her power behind it...in order to keep us distracted. Keep us distracted from the real issues. Keep us distracted from her quickly-flagging approval numbers. Keep us distracted from the one thing we all deserve now more than any other time in American history: The Truth. If she holds onto the Reverend Wright scandal with white knuckles and beats it to death, she just might succeed at making Obama look somehow lacking -- thereby handing her the keys to the Oval Office.

Mrs. Clinton's decision to further investigate Obama's ties to Wright presents her as not much better than our current administration, which operates under a single principle. "Keep 'em distracted and they won't see we're not competent." I think Hillary is scared, and she's grasping at anything she can at this point.

Last night's debate was flawed from the outset. I felt the issues were pretty much ignored in favor of dissecting tabloid gossip. They should've just asked Hills what she thinks of Britney's new weave, or what albums are on Barack's iPod.

What impressed me, and ultimately persuaded me to throw my weight behind the Obama campaign, was his absolute, unfaltering dedication to taking the high road. He never once sunk to Clinton's level of employing The Art of Distraction. This man wants us focused on the issues, focused on the character of those running this race, focused on America and her position in the world. Coming from someone who is an unsympathetic connoisseur of class and tackiness as I am, Mr. Obama presented himself as he is.

Someone with a helluva lot of class.

In keeping with The Art of Distraction, it is notable how the media has blown up every single tiny, insignificant issue of both Clinton and Obama's campaigns. Whereas Grandpa McCain's mistakes are largely ignored. I saw a clip of McCain giving a speech in which he couldn't keep straight the names of our supposed enemies and our supposed allies in the Middle East. And this is the man Republicans want to be some great orchestrator of international relations? My cat could do a better job, and she eats rubber bands.

This isn't altogether shocking, of course. Every "news" outlet is owned by the same four or five conservative Republicans. They want to keep us distracted, too.

But as long as Obama is in the picture, I hold on to the hope that The Art of Distraction will soon be a thing of the past. Come November, I'm counting on seeing his name on the ballot.

His, or Charo's. Either way, my cuchi-cuchi will be happy.