An Open Letter to the MBTA, Part I

Note: For those of you fortunate enough not to live Beantown, the MBTA (or T for short) is the Greater Boston mass transit system. Though it encompasses the range of public transportation options available, including the subway, bus lines, and ferries, whenever someone refers to "taking the T", they are usually referring to the subway.


Dear MBTA,

From the bottom of my cold, critical heart, thank you for wiring all T tunnels for cell phone use. This means I can use my cell phone for the one and only reason I own it: to tell the time. You see, I have an aversion to wearing watches, and my cell has a clock that only works when service is available, so it comes in wonderfully handy to be able to tell what time it is when commuting. I love knowing that my mile-long commute takes over an hour.

But I offer an even more enthusiastic thank you for allowing me all-access knowledge to every other passenger on the T. I don't know how I lived without this added perk for so long. I adore knowing what the Curtis family is having for dinner. Or what despicable shenanigans that beyotch Wendy is up to now. Or how trying it is for Frank to only make $50K when he clearly deserves, at the least, $60K. Or how Susan will be meeting Sheila at the Harvard Square Station -- no, not at that exit, the Church Street exit. Or where Ted is taking his lady for a pre-Valentine's dinner, hoping to get lucky one day earlier than expected. Or....

How did I ever live without knowing facts like this, screamed at full lung-power from every seat on the T?

Oh, and I also love hearing the "Sex and the City" ringtone blaring at peak volume at 7:00 a.m.

These things just make my dull life a little brighter. Thank you very, very much.

Love and Kisses,
Donn